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* Judge Thompson was jailed after being found guilty of getting it off with a penis pump while he was presiding over cases in open court. Witnesses at his trial said that Thompson used the pump when cases were either really boring or really stimulating. And, yes, he is an American.
* A Darwin man has pleaded guilty to having sex at a petrol station and refusing to stop even when the police told him to. The Court heard that 29-year-old Spratt was seen sitting with a woman in a ute parked near the front door of an Adelaide River petrol station. The court heard the woman got out of the driver's seat and sat on his lap and he started to "passionately kiss her". The court heard the woman was making "loud moaning noises" and moving in a way that indicated the pair was having sex.
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A jealous husband hired a |
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A jealous husband hired a private detective to check on the movements of his wife. The husband wanted more than a written report; he wanted video of his wife's activities.
A week later, the detective returned with a video. They sat down together to watch it. Although the quality was less than professional, the man saw his wife meeting another man! He saw the two of them laughing in the park. He saw them enjoying themselves at an outdoor cafe. He saw them dancing in a dimly lit nightclub. He saw the man and his wife participate in a dozen activities with utter glee.
"I just can't believe this," the distraught husband said.
The detective said, "What's not to believe? It's right up there on the screen!"
The husband replied, "I can't believe that my wife could be so much fun!"
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You are on a Horse, galloping at a constant speed. On
your right is a sharp drop off, on your left is an elephant travelling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is a galloping kangeroo, and your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a Lion running at the same speed as you. What must you do to safely get out of this HIGHLY DANGEROUS situation....?????
Get Your Drunk Ass Off The Fkn Merry-Go-Round...:)
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An 86 year old man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?"
"There's something wrong with my dick," he replied.
The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded office and say things like that."
"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you, he said."
The receptionist replied, "You've obviously caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and then discussed the problem further with the doctor in private."
The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered. The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"
"There's something wrong with my ear," he stated.
The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice.
"And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?"
"I can't piss out of it, the man replied."
The doctor's office erupted in laughter
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