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A man living on the second storey of an apartment block was leaning out of the window one morning to check whether it was raining when a glass eye suddenly fell into his hand.
Looking up, he saw a girl peering down from four storeys above. "Is this yours?" he called out. "Yes," she replied. "Hold on," he said. "I'll bring it up to you." So he took the glass eye up to the girl's apartment. She invited him in and they started chatting.
Not only was she extremely grateful to him but she also found him incredibly attractive and so she asked him out to dinner that evening. He readily accepted.
The meal was a great success and afterwards she suggested they go back to his place and go to bed.
She stayed the night and when she left the following morning, he said:
"I'm sorry but I have to ask. Do you act like this with every man you meet?"
"No," she replied, "Only those who catch my eye." |
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A guy and his date were parked on a back road way out of town. Things started to heat up and he began to undo her dress.
"I probably should have mentioned this before," she said, "but I'm a prostitute and if you want to have sex with me, it will cost you 20 dollars."
The guy wasn't happy, but he paid up. Afterwards, he got dressed but just sat in the driver's seat without starting the engine.
"Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the woman.
"I probably should have mentioned this before," he replied, "but I'm a taxi driver and if you want to get back to town, it will cost you 30 dollars!" |
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A guy was told he had just 24 hours to live, so he decided to go home and make passionate love to his wife. He crept into the bedroom, slid into bed and for the next three hours enjoyed the wildest sex he'd ever experienced. Finally exhausted, he crawled into the bathroom where he was surprised to find his wife lying in the bath with a mudpack on her face.
"How did you get in here?" he asked.
"Sssh!" she said. "You'll wake my mother." |
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If men got pregnant:
1. Morning sickness would rank as the nation's number one health problem
2. Maternity leave would last for two years with full pay
3. Children would be kept in hospital until toilet trained
4. Natural childbirth would become obsolete
5. All methods of birth control would be 100 per cent effective
6. Men would be eager to talk about commitment
7. There would be a cure for stretch marks
8. They'd serve beer instead of coffee at antenatal classes
9. Men wouldn't think twins were so cute
10. Sons would have to be home from dates by 10 p.m. |
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