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The social studies teacher had |
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The social studies teacher had just finished a unit on war and peace.
"How many of you," he asked, "would say you're opposed to war?"
Not surprisingly, all hands went up. The teacher asked,
"Who'll give us the reason for being opposed to war?"
A large, bored-looking boy in the back of the room raised his hand.
"Johnny?" The teacher said.
"I hate war," Johnny said, "because wars make history, and
then some poor, innocent kid has to memorize all about it." |
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A very self-important college freshman |
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A very self-important college freshman attending a recent football game, took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation.
"You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one !", the student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear.
"The young people of today grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, man walking on the moon, our spaceships have visited Mars.
We have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with DSL, BPS, light-speed processing .... and..." ...pausing to take another drink of beer....
The Senior took advantage of the break in the student's litany and said, "You're right, son. We didn't have those things when we were young, so we invented them. Now, you - arrogant little s**t - what are you doing for the next generation?" |
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The Irish Artist A couple |
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The Irish Artist A couple are attending an art exhibit and they are looking at a portrait that has them a little taken aback.
The picture depicts 3 very black, very naked men sitting on a park bench; 2 have a black penis and the one in the middle has a pink penis. As the couple is looking somewhat puzzled at the picture, the Irish artist walks by and says, "Can I help you with this painting? I'm the artist who painted it." The man says "Well, we like the painting but don't understand why you have 3 African men on a bench, and the one in the middle has a pink penis, while the other two have a black penis." The Irish artist says, "Oh you are misinterpreting the painting. They're not African men, they are Irish coal miners and the one in the middle went home for lunch." |
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Why fishing is better than |
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Why fishing is better than sex: .You don't have to hide your fishing magazines.
.It's perfectly acceptable to pay a professional to fish with you once in a while.
.Your fishing partner doesn't get upset about people you fished with long ago.
.It's perfectly respectable to fish with a total stranger.
.When you see a really good fisher person, you don't have to feel guilty about imagining the two of you fishing in boat together.
.If your regular fishing partner isn't available, he/she won't object if you fish with someone else.
.Nobody will ever tell you that you will go blind if you fish by yourself.
.You can have a fishing calendar on your wall at the office, tell fishing jokes, and invite co-workers to fish with you without getting sued for harassment.
.There are no fishing-transmitted diseases.
.If you want to watch fishing on television, you don't have to subscribe to the Playboy channel.
.Nobody expects you to fish with the same partner for the rest of your life.
.Your fishing partner will never say, "Not again? We just fished last week! Is fishing all you ever think about? |
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