Sex.co.nz

Judging from the number of porn sites out there featuring cheating housewives, the fantasy of a bored, hot and horny MILFs opening her boudoir while her hubby is off at the office is one that we all share.

But how many housewives actually cheat on their husbands?  Is this fantasy based on truth, or is the “desperate housewife” just an urban legend?

According to a 2007 survey by MSNBC.com/iVillage, only 18 percent of married women actually cheat.  Okay, you might be saying, that’s still nearly 1 in 5 women.  But what these women are doing may not actually qualify as cheating.

If your wife kisses another man, is that cheating?  Most people (83%) think it is.  If your wife does a striptease in front of a webcam for another man, is that cheating?  Two out of three people think it is.

For those women who do have a sexual affair, it’s usually not a chronic thing.  Women only tend to cheat once, and the typical affair only lasts a week. The other party tends to be a friend or co-worker.  Only 2 in 5 women get caught – with only 2% getting busted in the act.

The danger zone for affairs occurs three to five years into the marriage.  Surprisingly, having small children at home doesn’t provide any protection against infidelity.  Nor does having a wedding ring.

A woman is most likely to consider cheating when she feels emotionally unfulfilled by her marriage.  Note that I said emotionally, not physically.  This is a major difference between men and women.  Men cheat because they feel physically unfulfilled or seek excitement, while the lack of an emotional connection is what drives women into an illicit lover’s arms.  Women also seek affairs to remind themselves that they’re still sexually desirable, something that being a mother and wife on call 24-7 can make them forget.

Thirteen percent of women say that they’re glad they cheated, with the majority of women (2 in 3) saying that they don’t regret the affair.  Women often cheat as a way to get out of a bad relationship.  For nearly half of those who cheat, the incident eventually destroys the marriage.

The biggest mistake most men make is thinking that a satisfying sex life will keep her from straying.  She wants more emotional depth in your relationship, not necessarily more sex, and she’ll go elsewhere if she’s not feeling the love from you.

So ask yourself the question: is your wife emotionally unfulfilled?  Does she seem unhappy?  Does she often say that she wishes the two of you would talk more often or spend more time together?  If so, you’d better take steps to re-connect with her again.  Start scheduling evenings out once a week where you drop the kids at a babysitter and have a meal in a nice restaurant.  Spend time with her in the evenings with the television off and your full attention on her.  Make the effort to share your feelings and thoughts with her.  It’s not much to ask, when you consider what’s at stake.