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The next time your partner tells you to pick up some Shakespeare instead of Playboy, just tell her that you’re following in a respected literary tradition.

Franz Kafka, after all – subject of more Ph.D. theses than any other author in the world except for Shakespeare – had an extensive collection of porn.

Now, in case you’re not up on your Kafka, Kafka (1883 – 1924) wrote The Metamorphosis, a favorite of high school English teachers for its shocking portrayal of a man who woke up one day and discovered he’d turned into a roach.

Literary types love him for the dark, fantastic themes in his writing, but no one picked up on just how morbidly visual his imagination was until Dr. James Hawes.

Dr. Hawes is a Kafka scholar who was doing research one day in the British Library in London when he made a startling find.  A porn stash - or, to be more specific, a collection of journals with the unassuming title of The Amethyst/Opals.  The stash was Kafka’s, and it featured images of “animals committing fellatio and girl-on-girl action,” according to Hawes.

Kafka apparently prized the collection, as he kept it locked up securely and took the key with him whenever he left on vacation.

Hawes believes that the existence of the porn stash was kept hidden because academics didn’t want Kafka’s reputation tarnished.  He tells The Times:

“Academics have pretended it did not exist.  The Kafka industry doesn’t want to know such things about its idol.”

Despite resistance by his American publisher, Hawes is making some of the images public in his book Excavating Kafka.  He warns readers:

“These are not naughty postcards from the beach. They are undoubtedly porn, pure and simple….  It’s quite unpleasant.”

If even a literary genius like Kafka likes kinky porn, then there’s certainly nothing wrong with having your own erotic stash.  Now it’s just up to you to try to convince your partner!